Some days are going to be like this

Have you ever had a day that just drained you? How about a week that tested the limits of your patience? Since I'm pretty sure you'll say yes, I'll just keep going. How do we get through them? How do we recharge to get ready for the next one? I wish I had the magic answer to these questions.

Here's what I'm learning. Most of the time, for me, when that happens I'm not adhering to at least one of the 10 commandments. I might not have taken a Sabbath to recharge my spirit, but I choose to keep working until it all gets done - knowing full well my work will never be done. I might covet something my neighbor has whether that be a grade, a relationship or a little free time to relax and enjoy. I may have worshiped an idol - money being the most likely to try and pull me away from God.

Now I know I adhere to a good number of them. I don't use the Lord's name in vain. I honor my parent. I have never stolen or committed murder or adultery. However this is not enough. The 10 commandments aren't a game of odds. (Methodists are strictly against gambling, and I would count that as a gamble.) Missing any one of them can lead to an empty life because it is allowing free will to pull us away from God.

So I use this as a part of my daily discerning. Have I kept faithfully with the will of God in my daily life? My goal in doing this in not to work my way into heaven, that is already granted by God's grace, but to live a life more fully in communion with God, and that is the revitalization for which I seek.

Threadbare Fabric

Sometimes, we have things we know are not worth keeping. We have a pair of jeans that finally fit right and feel comfortable, but the knees or seat are just wearing out. We can't bear to be parted from them. They aren't practical; they can't be worn in public, but we keep them anyway.

Why is it that we are so willing to throw away things in our community? Why are relationships disposable? Why do we not fight to keep the fabric of our communities when we notice them becoming threadbare? Why are jeans, which can't be worn outside, held tighter to us instead of people? I'm confused.

Some people are willing to become those broken threads and fade away from existence. Others feel the stress and strain of trying to hold together a receding cloth.

When the chips are down

Networking is an important aspect in our lives. Naturally, we know the career advances that can be made through networking, but our relationships can be enhanced just as well. I have had a few rough days with trying to keep my life in order. I have discovered that the strong wealth of friendships I have has been a real blessing. Each friend has a unique gift, or gifts, that will compliment any lack I may have at one point. How empty my life would be if I walked around feeling that incomplete. Feminism says I shouldn't have a man in my life to complete me, and I agree and may even comment on another day, but relationships in their many forms do create a completeness. That's why God did not design us to live alone but in community with each other. To all the friends out there - thank you for making me a more whole and healthy person. I love you all.

Brother, can you spare a dime?

Almost every week I hear about a new way to help another group of people. I have to admit, I started getting the "giving fatigue." There just seem to be too many places for my time, money and effort to go. How can I ever keep up? I feel like I'm being nickel and dimed to death.

Then I thought, "How dare I accuse God of nickel and dimeing me to death?!?" I talk about how blessed I feel. If I really felt I was blessed, shouldn't I share that wealth? I don't want to be Lazarus where I have everything in this life and nothing in the next.

I think I'm a poor grad student, but really I'm not. I'm able to go to school! I eat every day. I can get on the T and go almost anywhere. I have a place to live that has heat and clean clothes... when I do laundry. I am not poor. I'm not as rich as I want to be, but I'm as rich as I need to be. So, yes, brother, I can spare a dime... even a quarter.

To Thine Own Self Be True

It's odd, I know, but I'm writing twice in one day! I was reminded about something that is just too important for me to remember. I often bring my United Methodist faith into conversations. I'll bring donuts or other food to a gathering, and I'll say I do it because I'm a good Methodist. I do this for other nice things I do too. What I realized I have been doing is trying to find another way to say, "I do this because I'm a Christian."

Am I hiding my faith by not stating it out loud? I don't think so. What I am trying to do is disarm people by not making it about theology or religion but about faith. I'm more likely to be asked about my Methodist faith than being a Christian by random people. Oddly enough, it has happened here in Boston. I have a School of Theology (STH) sweatshirt, and people will ask me about it too. I am not ashamed of the Gospel, but I want to make it accessable and approachable to people. I believe that they will know I am a Christian by my love - even when I profess it through my United Methodist calling.

Real World: Boston?

What I have loved about coming to Boston is that I can not live in a bubble. Well, I could, but I'd actively try to live in a bubble. I have been exposed to thoughts, cultures, theologies that are so different than my own.

Last night we, community dinner at Marsh Chapel, met a woman from Uganda who had been abducted as a child. She was forced to work in a child soldier camp. As she told us her story about escaping from that horror and how important education I thought about how I complain about my life.

*sigh* There are real problems in this world. Is it really tragic that I have to wait another 10 minutes for a bus? How bad is it that I have to cook my own food instead of going out for pizza? Is it really that bad that I have to go to the library for a book because I can't buy it from Barnes and Noble? (Who can afford a book there?) There are people who worry about finding water so they don't die of dehydration. People right here worry about food. There's worry about the temperature dropping because hypothermia is a real threat.

I needed to hear her message. Life is so worth it, and it really doesn't suck.

Bach in the high life again

So, the major term paper is in. *big sigh of relief* It was 30 pages long. Only two more to go, and those are each about 10-15 pages each. After 30, this is a cakewalk. :)

Sometimes, seminary is a lonely place. As individuals we work so hard to prepare ourselves to help an unknown world of the future. We bury our noses in books and shackle our hands to computers to spit out words we hope will inspire another person to believe we are right.

Where is community in this? Sure, to know God is to love Him, and we are seeking a greater and deeper love every day. However, Sitting at a desk by myself for 8 hours a day does not provide me with love and a sense of community. I am thankful for the friends who come and sit at the table with me in a shared effort to do foundational work in understanding faith and origins. Sure, there are times where we do more laughing than work, but I have to remember that laughter is a gift too. It's not a distraction... unless it's 10pm and the paper's due by midnight. :)