Is there room at the table for me?

I have learned what happens when you begin to expect grace and not see it as a gift. The beauty of it being a gift starts to dull. I become disappointed that it doesn't happen. I'm talking about the ups and downs of Methodist candidacy. I hoped to meet with my dCOM during annual conference, as it would be the only time in the year I planned to be home, however that will not happen.

There are 13 United Methodist seminaries in existence. That means there are more people than just me who are studying in an area outside their home conference, and especially outside of their districts. While it is their choice to go to a seminary closest to home or far away, I question how much help is provided in helping them balance the requirements of academia and church.

My experience has been that dCOM only meets for one meeting during the summer. Summer is when I have the least amount of money. Seminarians are doing field education internships, CPE or working to save up money for next year. There is no access to scholarships, grants or loans, and financial assistance from the conference has never been a suggestion. This year especially, it looks like a tough summer for employment.

My other experience has been that dCOM meets when I have scheduled classes. I find it ironic that I leave important instruction to talk about what I'm learning. Professors generally excuse this absence because it is for professional reasons, but there is catching up to be done. The travel, the expense and the intellectual catch-up is exhausting.

I wish I could help dCOM, and conferences, understand that diversity in seminary education is a plus for the connexional system of the United Methodist Church. Encouraging students to attend the closest seminary so that it's easier to meet with dCOM actually breaks down the ties that bind us. We become more fragmented when we all stay close to home. We also push really great people out of serving the church because frustration levels get to a breaking point. I have seen far too many people give up on this system - people who could have transformed the local charge and the greater body.

My suggestion, should anyone wish to listen to this voice, is help us achieve. Make a little room at Annual Conference to meet with your candidates who attend far away. You don't have to get everyone that week, but look at those who have to take a train or plane to reach you, and help them out. If they can make the commitment to attend annual conference (which should offer a seminarian discount since most of us have negative income and live off loans), help them out with an hour of your time. What better way to learn about your candidate than over a meal? Jesus taught his disciples over meals all the time. United Methodists are known for the fellowship over the meal - although usually in crockpot form.

We hope we are not a burden to you - another thing to squeeze into the calender. We want to learn from you, and we seek affirmation that the gifts we see in ourselves are visible to others, especially those already within the church. We hope that we reignite your passion for ministry by sharing all the wonderful and new things we learn along the way. We hope that you are filled with an experience of the Holy Spirit and a sense of comfort that the church will continue in capable hands. I hope we get to that sense of mutual benefaction for the sake of the church in the world.