There are moments when you realized you have crossed a threshold in life, and you just won't be able to go back. For most people it comes with landmark birthdays: 18,21, 25 (for some) and 30 are a few that I have crossed and crossed with friends. You can relive a part of what's past from time to time, but it's not quite the same.
I am getting ready to take office as student body president. I don't say this to gloat or rub it in the face of anyone reading. Honestly, I'm nervous about it. For as confident as I was a few weeks ago while "campaigning" through letting people know where I stood on issues and where I saw the future of the school, I now stand in awe of the power, trust and respect (on both sides) that is placed with this office.
When I first came to seminary, I stood in awe of the people whose positions I am filling or am about to fill. I looked up to them and respected them. These were people who could make change happen, and they did. When students needed help, they were there. They rallied around those who had little or no voice and made sure they were heard. Now I am being entrusted with that legacy. I feel a little like Queen Elizabeth I - overwhelmed, never thought I'd be here, and yet ready to go.
I'm also facing the very real scenario of being a pastor. People ask me for advice, and I am being asked to lead in times of crisis. What I say and do (or don't say or don't do for that matter) actually means something. I have the ability to build up or tear down. I only hope that I am receptive enough to the movement of the Holy Spirit to do either of these things for the betterment of God's Kingdom on earth.
If I stand in these positions thinking it's on my own merit, I know I will fail. The person who believes she is the one with the power is the one who is estranged from God. She has an uphill battle to fight. God is not absent - she just didn't ask for God's help. So, I need to remember that God wants to do something with me - just as I am and just where I am. If I do that, along with prayer and other means of grace, I stand the best chance of seeing what God has in store.
It's scary to cross this threshold. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. God put angels on earth to help guide me through. Perhaps I will be used as an angel to help guide someone else through this thing we call life. Perhaps...
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