Give a little bit...

I've been spending my Spring Break in Turkey. I'm now on day 6 here. It's been a very interesting experience to visit all these amazing sites of historical, religious and archaeological importance.

Another side of what I have been learning is the view of Christianity. I am in a Muslim country, and it's not "en vogue" to be a Christian. Now, I'm not exactly a minority here. Yes, I'm a minority in this country, but I still belong the largest religion in the world. There is still a reason to fear me, and they do to some extent.

I have had to put away all my sweatshirts and t-shirts that say "theology" on them because it gives an impression that I am here to make converts. I hadn't even thought of the implications of wearing it when I was packing - I'm so used to wearing it all the time. (And I do wear it all the time, as my classmates will attest.) They are an extension of who I am. Yet, in the interest of research and goodwill, I put them away and only wear them in my room or at the library - never between the two places.

The hardest one for me was my necklace. The first day I wore a shirt in which my necklace could be seen, I didn't even realize you could see my cross. The next day, I made the decision not to take it off. There was just something too difficult about taking it off me. I hardly notice when it's there, but I most certainly know when it's gone. It's a big part of who I am. I don't need to be overt about it, but giving up the small things is really hard.

I still struggle with this right now - 6 days into the journey. How do I balance being a good guest of a country while being a good representative of my faith? I have a greater appreciation for what St. Paul had to do in setting up and maintaining his churches in the Aegean region. I better understand what he means about being "all things to all people." (1 Cor 9:22) He's trying to answer the very same question I'm struggling with right now... he's trying to fit in while witnessing by presence. (However, I am not here with an intention of making converts.)

I'm not sure how to navigate these two desires, but I am figuring out how to make the banks. I respect the host country and its primary religion by not being brash or brazen about my faith. I respect my beliefs by maintaining core elements to my faith - private devotion and my necklace - the symbol of my faith. I listen to Mark's teaching that I should do things in secret and not boast about them - my Abba knows what I am doing, and that is sufficient. (paraphrase)

What's most important about this journey is not that I find an answer, but I become comfortable with the tension in the question.