It's nearly 4am, and I'm wide awake. First I have to say that I took a nap earlier in the day, so that messed up the sleeping schedule. I'm also up because I'm trying to write a paper for my introduction to theology course. I have decided that staring at a computer screen is not going to get the paper written, so I'm taking a break and writing something else.

General Conference wrapped up this weekend. I like to refer to GC as Methodist Olympics. They meet for nearly two weeks every four years and get some really hefty work done. However, I am concerned about the spiritual health of my church. There is a deep divide on the issue of homosexuality, and the majority vote is not overwhelming. I must be honest in that I do not agree with everything that was said regarding this issue at GC. I will uphold the laws to the best of my conscience, but it is the first time I have ever cried for the health of my church.

Historically, the last time the UMC had such a strong difference of opinion was over slavery, and it physically split. If we don't remain in dialogue I'm afraid it could happen again. One person told me that's why he left the church; I said that's why I can't leave the church. It's my church, and I love it. It's not perfect but John Wesley would be disappointed in us if we just gave up. He wanted everyone to strive for Christian Perfection, and that includes the church as a whole body. Giving up is like failure - it's not an option.

The UMC motto is "Open hearts, open minds, open doors." My Annual Conference motto is, "Live, give, love... beyond all expectations." I look forward to how they will show me to live our those creeds in the midst of resolutions and decisions passed. Some are obvious... some will require time, patience and discernment. I love my church; it is my family, and I will defend it and fight for it because love is always worth the effort and risk.