I have been very silent on here. What I used to find strange about Boston is suddenly very normal. I've learned to silently harmonize with the guy who sings Billy Joel tunes on the bus or (in my head) commend people for being so comfortably bold in their fashion choices. I didn't feel like there was anything new to say. And then graduation day came... and went.
I figured I'd take a month off and then I would find the job I had always wanted. Just over two months later I'm still waiting to find it. I began to enter a new phase in my life, and it's not one I ever expected to be possible - poorer than seminary. At least in seminary I had a safety net. I didn't always know it, but there were plenty of resources. I know I made some of those possible for others. But now, with my savings drying up like a desert at noon, I found myself wondering how ends were going to meet.
So I am now dedicating this blog, at least for a while, about what it's like to be educated, poor and navigating the social services. This is a hard journey to put out there - it's deeply personal, and there's a stigma about receiving aid from any government be it state or federal. However, I believe it's important for me to record what this time is like so I never forget it. I also think it's important for people to know what it's really like to be in this situation. I'll admit, I thought people just griped about what they had to do to get help. Perhaps if they had just finished high school they could figure out how to fill out a silly little form. I am not enjoying the taste of my foot in my mouth right now, and the words that I have just swallowed are gnawing away at my stomach.
I'll save a few of the details for another blog, but I want to address something first. Everyone has the right to dignity... even those who receive assistance from the state (or commonwealth). I currently work at a grocery store to get a little income. I remember from my Vocation, Work and Faith course (in my last semester) a conversation about the dignity of work/labor. Yes, I make minimum wage right now, and yes it's hard to make that with a Masters degree hanging on my wall, but right now it feels good to earn my income, however small it is. It wasn't handed to me - I worked hard for it. There are days I literally sweat from the physical nature of the labor I do scanning others' groceries, but it still feels good to pay my bills or anything else knowing that it actually came from the sweat of my brow. It may not be glamorous, and I aspire to do more than this, but it is honest work, and it is dignified.
Now, to get on my soap box, I want to talk about how we all need food to live. I see people from all walks of life at the grocery store. I can usually tell by the cards they pull out to pay. Some pull out a check card; others use a credit card; some have fancy credit cards that say "Platinum" or "World"... something... anyway, it lets everyone know this is someone special; some use EBT cards. EBT is essentially food stamps. I can't tell much about a person from the way he or she is dressed, but I can tell something about the form of payment the person uses. I've seen people in line get rather impatient with people using EBT or WIC (Women, Infant, Children) methods of payment. Yes, they take longer to process, but there are good reasons for it. People have abused them in the past, and precautions were taken to help prevent that.
Anyway, back on topic - I've seen many people embarrassed to have their card out. They take the EBT card out at the last possible moment, swipe it really fast and put it back with lightening fast speed. They don't want anyone to know they need help. I can understand that on a personal level - but I'm ashamed to be part of a society that puts a stigma on a loving gift of charity. The word "charity" has changed into something great to give to and something bad to receive. Every time I think about it I am reminded of the last words of 1 Cor 13 - now these three things abide: faith, hope and love (charity), and the greatest of these is love (charity). Is it still the greatest?
People deserve to be cared for in ways that really mean something - and why shouldn't they have access to basic needs like food? I have made it my mission to not look at the card someone uses to pay unless that person has a question about it. Everyone in my line will be treated according to the attitude he or she treats another. Want to be nice to me? I'm sure we'll have a great time. Want to take out your bad day on me? I'll make sure your order is completed as fast a possible.
I'm sure this is a bit of rambling, and I promise it'll get better. I'll try to keep up with my own adventures in receiving transitional assistance for food and medical care (health insurance is a law in Massachusetts). I hope this becomes a companion to others who have struggled with these same issues, and I hope it is enlightening to those who never do.
No comments:
Post a Comment